I can't focus on a damn thing tonight, so I'm going to wander fairly aimlessly in words and pictures. Let's see if it is entertaining at all.
Naruto 360 looks beautiful, and when full size screens and footage do drop on IGN, 1UP, and the like (which should be soon), I imagine they will inspire a collective dropping of the jaws. The potential of cel shading on next generation consoles is looking to be a really interesting development. Here's hoping that Naruto 360 doesn't fall into the same traps of being a terrible anime game.
Yeah, so the opening city of Paprika has been announced, and I chose the wording of that sentence carefully. A single opening screen? And another in the following month? I wouldn't hold out much hope for seeing this one as it should be seen. In short: Fuck you Sony Pictures Classics. Fuck you all over the place. I'd rather companies not even bring good movies to the theaters if they're going to do it in a manner that even people willing to travel to the nearest city still can't see the movie.
I'd owned the first seven DVD's in the Tenjho Tenge series for a long time. I had never seen more than the first, instead waiting for the moment I could watch the series in full. Finally I bought the eighth and final disc, which is insane enough that a 26 episode series was on 8 discs, and sure enough, I crammed the entire series. Was it all worth it? No fucking way. Eight discs, tons of anticipation, and oodles of dollars later, I find out that the series comes to close in a non-ending? It's as if my balls were crushed under the mighty force of the oligarchy. One thing it does have going for it? The boobs.
I've just finished reading Kuhaku and it is one of the most delightful things I've ever read. Once again, I'm carefully choosing my words and not saying that this is great or epic; it's merely delightful. The novel is a collection of 16 stories/essays/accounts from those living in Japan. Some are from the view of foreigners, some from Japanese, and some from expatriates who will probably never leave their new home. Overall, the novel is a great insight to the varying worlds of the land I hope to migrate to in time. Not to mention, the cloth cover, color and b&w illustrations, and even an included bookmark make this one of the nicest looking books I own. Check out the website of the publisher, Chin Music Press, for more information on the book. Take the time to read the blurbs and I think you'll see that this is something everyone with an interest in Japan should own.
I could probably keep going, but I'd rather just finish with this ... it is the best game commercial I've ever seen. +1 Million experience points to anyone that knows which bit is from Conan the Fucking Barbarian (or Destroyer, I can't quite remember). Praise Cromm.
Yes ... the lamentations of their women.
I think when any gamer doesn't specialize in playing a certain genre, that is they don't abandon everything else for, say, their love of shooters, they tend to see that somewhere in the midst of all the types of games, one particular genre just appeals to them naturally. It's like they were born with a specific tendency to be good at fighting games or racing games. I'm not suggesting that practice doesn't make someone better at any type of game, but I think their is still that one genre that just appeals to the type of person we are. Because I play games for the most part universally, I have dabbled in everything despite my aversion to certain genres, and I think I've found the genre that, well, suits me.
My choice genre is the Tactical RPG. I carefully choose my wording here, because the Tactical RPG is in reality a subgenre of the Strategy RPG. The two are undeniably similar, and while I admit, I think I'm actually creating these definitions for myself, the difference lies in the minor details. Where my definition of a Strategy RPG places one in the setting of a grand battle with an army of units, a Tactical RPG on the other hand, still retains the party and unique characters of more traditional roleplaying games. I suppose a small list would be in order:
- A Strategy RPG has units, and a Tactical RPG has characters, or party members.
- A Strategy RPG often has one hero unit who is a character, but few more.
- A Strategy RPG often relies on the creation of bases and facilities.
I could probably go on, but I think examples are a better ... example:
Strategy RPG -
Warcraft/Starcraft
Command & Conquer
Lord of the Rings: Battle for Middle-Earth
Advance Wars
Super Robot Taisen
Tactical RPG -
Final Fantasy Tactics
Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance
Disgaea
I think that makes the genre distinction pretty obvious. Certainly there are some games that blur the lines between the genres (Makai Kingdom), and even between Tactical RPG's and Traditional RPG's (FF12: Revenant Wings). As I said, I'm mostly defining these as I go, but I think most people can agree with what I'm suggesting. Particularly, the separation between characters and units being the most significant. The real purpose of all this distinction is just to make the point that Tactical RPG's with their strategical gameplay and character driven storyline, appeal to me on some strange, biological level. For this reason ... I'm really, really excited about the near future. Let's take a look:
Hoshigami Remix - Updated PS1 tactical outings? I'll take that.
FF12:Revenant Wings is a unique mix of TRPG and gambit system.
Heroes of Mana is probably a little less than a TRPG, but it's interesting nonetheless.
Luminous Arc was announced long before these other games, but it's finally coming.
Final Fantasy Tactics Advance 2 is easily the cream of the TRPG crop.
I've been keeping an eye on all these games and it's exciting to know they'll all be released in the US, and all on a single platform: The DS. The PSP has its own share of TRPG's coming down the pipeline but I wouldn't want to be overly hopeful about games I may never play. If you enjoy the Tactical RPG as much as I, by all means relish in the bounty that is 2007.
This week during a terribly geeky Friday night literary journey, I read an entire book. I imagine it would be one thing to say that were it a small novel, or something of The Goosebumbs variety (God ... I'll never forget those), but this was a slightly less reasonable 464 pages in one sitting. Even more interesting is the fact that the book in question, The Twelve Kingdoms: Sea of Shadow, wasn't even particularly amazing.
I wouldn't say the book is terrible by any means, but this is a novel marketed towards a Teen audience, and that's even where I had to find the novel at my Barnes & Noble. I rummaged through the Fiction, Science Fiction, and Manga sections before I decided I needed to look up its proper shelving. The fact that the novel is geared toward a younger audience gave me some initial fears, but I imagined that wouldn't be such an issue. I've wanted for a long time to finish The Chronicles of Narnia, and read the new His Dark Materials trilogy that seems to be fairly popular, so I was hoping that I could cope with fairly simple language and themes. I was, for the most part, wrong.
My literary tastes are, without tooting my own horn, fairly academic. I move from genre novels like Neuromancer, to cultural studies texts like Confucius Lives Next Door, and in most cases, I've grown to really enjoy ... wordiness. In moving backwards to The Twelve Kingdoms, all that appreciation I have for language is thrown to the dogs. As I've mentioned to others, note the first sentence of the novel:
"It was dark beyond darkness, deeper than the depths of night."
Ouch. I don't know about anyone else, but that isn't really working for me. They couldn't pull together anything more appealing than that? The rest of the novel isn't quite as bad, but it never really pulls itself together well either. I even noticed at least five typographical errors, and they stand out because, really, how often does that shit get through to a final product? I suppose, if anything, that shows we're working with Tokyopop and not an established publisher of literature.
That brings to question whether the issue of unimpressive language is the fault of Fuyumi Ono, the original author, or the translators responsible for creating the English version. I can't be sure, but I'd imagine the cause is equally dispersed among them. On the other hand, where Fuyumi Ono does excel is in crafting a vast fantasy world. Sea of Shadow is only the first novel in what, if I remember correctly, is a series of six or seven, and already the world is showing obvious Tolkien and Lewis inspired depth. Their are a series of kingdoms, rumored kingdoms, and a vast Void Sea filled with stars that connects these lands to modern Japan. C.S. Lewis and The Chronicles of Narnia have a stronger influence here than Tolkien, and the parallels between the two stories are more than obvious. Happy talking badgers have become happy talking rats, but their role is the same.
If Tolkien's influence does show anywhere within Sea of Shadow, it is in the gore. The majority of the novel has the main character Yoko battling hordes of demons for days on end, to the point of physical and mental exhaustion. Her endless battles are filled with bloody details, and initially they're one of the better aspects of the novel. Especially as Yoko comes to term with her abilities, and finds herself enjoying the bloodshed. Unfortunately, as the battles rage on they grow tiresome, and it's easy to ask the question, is she just going to fight these random demons for the entire text?
When you realize the end of the novel is approaching, despite the story building around Yoko and her role in The Twelve Kingdoms, and the answer is Yes, then the entire experience feels a little jaded. Just as the vast climax approaches, it seems as if an entire portion of the novel was removed and we're left without the grand Tolkien-esque battle, only a half-hearted conclusion. It reeks of a writer who was forced to meet a deadline, and sacrifice detail for denouement. A novel with no climax is a hard sell for any reader. Were the sequel to the book readily available, and I could continue my journeys in The Twelve Kingdoms world, this wouldn't be such a blow, but no follow-up is in Tokyopop's schedule for the coming months. I suppose this is what Harry Potter must feel like, although I imagine each book is woven in a manner to avoid this.
The appeal of much children's literature like His Dark Materials and The Chronicles of Narnia, is that reading it as an adult makes the deeper themes more apparent. I'm happy to say that despite the language, Sea of Shadow does have that deeper underlying theme for adults to enjoy. For much of the novel this theme is, in short, the Socratic Paradox, or the truth that no matter our actions, whether noble or unjust, we're always acting according to the perception that we're benefiting ourselves. As the characters in The Twelve Kingdoms betray Yoko, she realizes that each member of this new world is very blatantly seeking their own benefit at her expense. Her acceptance of this, initially the terrible aspect of it, and ultimately the truthful aspect of it, is the most obvious example of her character growth.
So, I will say that The Twelve Kingdoms: Sea of Shadow wasn't too impressive. A good many aspects of the novel, particularly the language, kept me from considering it a masterpiece. It was, however, a good read, and I will continue the journey in the world of The Twelve Kingdoms as the books are released. Sweeping fantasy epics aren't usually my thing, and I do have a strong disliking for series and the terrible waiting they inspire, but this world is fascinating, it has the perfect amount of Japanese culture to pique my interest, and to be frank, a series of beautiful hardcover novels at $11.00 a piece is more than welcome in my collection.
Fans of manga will be happy to see the occasional page within the novel devoted to artwork that is very pleasing, as is the art on the books dust jacket. I never shook a slight Inuyasha feeling that crept upon me during the reading, as a young girl transported from modern Japan to a world of magic and demons does sound vaguely familiar. I will say though, this was much, much better than any Inuyasha I've ever seen. The Twelve Kingdoms has its own anime series, totaling what I believe is 40+ episodes, and is already available in America.
I left much of the plot open so as to not spoil the story for anyone, but here is a synopsis for those interested:
Yoko Nakajima's life has been fairly ordinary--until Keiki, a young man with golden hair, tells her that she is his master and must return to their kingdom. With the help of a magic sword and a magic stone against the demons on her trail--Yoko begins her quest for both survival and self-discovery in her new land.
This book is available on Amazon.
Somewhere along the line poor Google just got the wrong idea. I had to let him down soft. I knew he was fragile, and I didn't want to give him the wrong impression. Eventually, our conversations were getting too awkward; each time we spoke I felt like he was devouring me with his eyes. Ultimately, when the tension was peaking, I blurted the first thing that came to mind ...
"I still use Yahoo! ..."
He froze. I could see that he felt betrayed, and I felt more than a little disgusted with myself. Then he told me he'd stop with the ads. I felt like I lost a friend, but at least I wouldn't have to deal with his subversive suggestions any longer.
Oh the woes of search engines and their sexual preference. I thought by all the times I searched for "(Insert slightly skanky celebrity) + topless" that they'd have caught on.
Penny Arcade made a brilliant pop culture reference in their latest comic that I fear too many people might not be privy to. This, of course, is because they're uneducated heathens and have no knowledge of some of our nations greatest Nazi bashers. Seriously, there have been so many amazing film characters who spend their screen time thoroughly wasting Nazis, that I thought I should do my best to highlight them on occasion. After all, if there are any heroes we should celebrate, shouldn't it be the dudes that thrash Nazis that we celebrate first? Specifically, shouldn't we be starting with the dude that thrashes Nazis while wearing a jetpack? Yeah, I thought you'd agree.
I strongly suggest no one fuck with The Rocketeer. He fights nazis, with a jetpack, and a seriously cool helmet. Like, the coolest of helmets. That helmet just says, "Yeah, I've got a jetpack AND this helmet. Obviously, I'm from the freaking future, and I'm here for some business with Hitler." Going on a slight tangent here, Howard Hughes has a little cameo in this picture, and no, not The Aviator Leonardo Dicaprio wannabe Hughes, Hughes as played by Terry O' Quinn, prime minister of badass. If that isn't ringing any bells, try this.
It should be clear that I'm not actually suggesting The Rocketeer is a particularly good movie, because, well, it isn't. However, that has no real bearing on the fact that A. Nazis are wasted, and B. He's wearing a freaking jetpack. For any true man, these things are more than enough to at least warrant a single viewing. The inclusion of ridiculously attractive Jennifer Connelly is the sole reason for repeat viewings. It's strange to me how she can be that hot, with eyebrows so ... furry. Her hotness exceeds the seriously dude-like eyebrows, and that gentleman, is a fairly high level of hot. I probably would have boinked her back in the Labyrinth days ... ... and I guess that's where I'd better stop that train of thought.
Expect me to further explore the greatest Nazi opponents of all time as this series of posts continues. Appearances include, but are not limited to, Hellboy, Indiana Jones, and obviously, Captain America.
I fear that I've been suffering from Bloggers Block these last few days. Any posts that I started to spew forth felt as if they were too small for what I was interested in posting, or they just weren't congruent what what I was ready to type at length about. That's not to suggest I don't have some ideas:
I'd like to countdown what I feel are the 10 best magazines.
I'd like to begin a sort of bibliography of the books that I'm reading, will read, or have read.
I'd like to write at length about a particular actor, and why he's so damned cool.
I'd like to introduce everyone to Ichigo Mashimaro, and its kawaii heaven.
I'd like to write about God of War 2. Although, what else needs to be said?
I'd like to write about the American wannabe-manga Gyakushu, and how glorious it is.
I'd like to write about Final Fantasy VI and my vast love for everything within it.
I'd like to write about the Xbox 360's ridiculous lineup, and other soon to be gaming releases.
As you can see, there are a lot of things I'd like to write about, but for one reason or another, none of them feel particularly pressing. I'm sure these posts will see fruition at some point in the near future, and everyone can at least be jovial in the knowledge that they are approaching. However, when exactly, I do not know.
Until then, settle for my recent love affair with Imeem, a website that allows for chaps like myself to upload songs and share them, this is of course as long as I'm not infringing on any copyrights. Yeah ... I was laughing too. I've been looking for something similar to this for a long time considering any time I make a music post, I always wish I could share the song as well. I've uploaded a few songs, and they have as of yet not been removed. So, enjoy:
The theme to the Paprika trailer:
Any particular post anyone wants to see first? I'm in no rush.
I'm SO jealous. Any comedy I could ever deliver, and best post comments I could ever receive, they're all dwarfed by this.
Try the number one most honorable brand mammal juice drink.
Succumb to white mixture! Swallow! The flavor is like a fist!
FELINE DISRESPECT! FROM BEHIND!
Japanator delivers Bukkake Milk
I can't even put a picture on this post for fear of giving the wrong idea. And what the hell do I tag it?
I'll only say what is absolutely necessary.
Ryuhei Kitamura's (Versus, Azumi) new movie is called LOVEDEATH. The trailer is out. The following things are contained within:
Main character with ... the best hair ever.
Muscle cars. Exploding.
Ridiculously good music.
Popsicle eating ... with rage.
Gyrating dildo guns.
A bowling scene.
Lots of fur coats?
Erotic cherry eating.
Girls almost kissing. Almost.
And 733% Kitamura flavor.
A quick rundown of the story is available here.
The trailer can easily be found on this website.
I probably could have just said this: Ryuhei Kitamura. New trailer. Here. Watch or die. I'm always so long winded.
Whether you view the MPAA as a totalitarian behemoth destroying creative and independent film, or as a noble organization dedicated to protecting the sanctity of youth, all should be equally comforted with their newest amendment to the rating system.
The new SFU Rating is sure to be a target for films striving to reach a deeper, more mature audience. I for one, am proud to finally see The Department of Homeland Security doing what it ought to be doing by partnering with the MPAA, keeping questionable content away from the eyes and ears of modern America. The sort of questionable content that seems to be pouring out of other countries these days. In particular, Japan has a culture that is attempting to flood America with their wavering morality and rampant sexuality. If there is a country that needs to be stopped, Japan is obviously the prime candidate.
A perfect example of the Japanese and their meager attempts to sway our staunch American Christianity, family values, and good old fashioned down-home cooking, is present in the first film to be awarded the SFU rating. The Glamorous Life of Sachiko Hanai! (and what sort of name is Sachiko anyways; it's not even in the Bible) has a plot that is unabashedly anti-American:
Prostitute Sachiko Hanai is accidentally shot in the head during a yakuza skirmish in a restaurant, but the wound acts as a sort of trepanation, turning her into a genius capable of complex dissertations on metaphysics, existentialism, and the work of Noam Chomsky, which causes her to be hired as the amorous tutor to a professor's teenage son. But it turns out that the mysterious cylinder coveted by the gangsters contains a severed finger that is a clone of the finger of George W. Bush, which North Korea wants to launch a nuclear attack. But the Bush finger has a mind (and levitation powers) of its own, and wishes to penetrate Sachiko ('I do not need the U.N.'s permission to invade!') through orifices both vaginal and cranial, just as a gangster attempts to retrieve the severed digit to aid in the unification of North and South Korea.
I'm disgusted at the very proposal of such poor moral fiber.
For exactly that reason, I hope everyone does NOT watch the trailer, which is available here. Downloadable Quicktime
I also hope no one visits the movie website Twitch, to learn more about it.
I do however, demand that everyone better familiarize themselves with the new SFU rating, in larger format here.
Take that however you like. I'm not saying Ninjabread Man won't be awesome, just putting stuff into perspective a little bit. And I only used what had boxart, so you know, that's not even all of them.
Stopping to get a bite to eat the other day, I randomly bumped into a good fella' by the name of XBLA. We had an interesting conversation about the future, particularly his future and how he thought I should be involved in it. This is the conversation as I remember it.
Me: Holy shit! XBLA, man, I didn't think I'd see you here at Burger King.
XBLA: Yeah, that whole Sneak King deal, and now I can't even show my face at Wendy's.
Me: Ouch. I suppose it's all for the best though. Man, Worms, Alien Hominid HD, you're doing pretty well for yourself these days.
XBLA: Truth. We'll see if I can keep the pace. I've got the freaking Ninja Turtles too. That's always a plus.
Me: That it is my friend. I'm pretty stoked about that. So, what are you eating?
XBLA: Pfft. Three triples bitch! I'm baked and I've to-ta-lly got the munchies.
Me: I'm sorry, what did you just say?
XBLA: Yeah man. I'm fucking thrashed. It comes with the fame you know? Wanna do some acid? I've got more acid than George Clinton and the fucking Parliament Funkadelic.
XBLA: Peddler of unquantifiable hallucinogenic experiences.
Me: Umm... I think I'll pass on that XBLA. Although, we could go play Castlevania if you want. Maybe ... if you calm down a little.
XBLA: Fuck that shit man. I'm not even ready for that. I'm just sort of teasing that like a Twinkie in front of a fat kid. April ... at the earliest.
Me: Seriously? That's kind of bullshit man.
XBLA: Don't tell anyone I told you though. They'll stop hooking me up with Minter's acid. That dude ... shit, I'm watching my mother fuck Yogi Bear right now ... on the menu. Right beside the Shamrock Shake.
Me: Yeah ... they don't even do the Shamrock Shake anymore man, and again, this is Burger King.
XBLA: Exactly man. Exactly.
XBLA receives his three triples, two king size orders of fries, and one crispy chicken sandwich minus the bun. He drops a stack of money on the counter (he is pretty financially stable after all), then stares at the cashier for a period of time no less than 45 incredibly awkward seconds. "I'll rootbeer tap your fucking face off," he explains to the cashier, and then stumbles off. Near the doorway he falls onto his tray and with little hesitation walks right out the door with nothing. In retrospect, I imagine he's quite used to stumbling, and even to nothing. He's given it to me more than a few times.
Cashier: Wow.
Me: Yeah, he's a little ridiculous. I think it's all the trippy shit coming down the pipeline.
Cashier: That motherfucker needs to stick to board games.
Me: Without a doubt. 
Let's see if Catan can sober up the beast.
