Cody Musser vs Internet: Take Two!

The trailer is available here. I won't avert any attention from it with mere words. Die Hard is only truly understandable in explosions. Big. Fucking. Explosions.

Savor that trailer, and wait till December 20th, when the Transformers trailer is apparently supposed to be making a debut.

I'm usually in the know, or I don't really care about ... things like Pandora Internet Radio. Who knows? Maybe my news upkeep is getting slow in my old age. However, upon the suggestion of one of my new coworkers at the B&N Starbucks Cafe, I decided to try out Pandora and see how well this idea was being brought to fruition. In short: Well.

Pandora is an internet streaming radio that upon the suggestion of an artist or song title, proceeds to tailor-make a station suited to that particular variety of music. All with the purpose of suggesting new music that might have otherwise been missed. I was initially mostly worried that I'd enter a band I enjoy, say The Decemberists, and always find myself with recommendations to schlock like The Killers, and countless other bands that litter the pop/indie rock scene. It didn't work like that, actually it worked a little like this:

I suggested The Decemberists (For those not "in the know" The Decemberists are a folksy, mostly mellow band with suitably deep lyrics and a nice sparse guitar/melody backdrop. Pandora immediately plays a song from the band in question, the song chosen was, "The Shankhill Butchers."

"The Shankhill Butchers" is probably THE most sparse of the tracks on Crane Wife, so I was excited where this was going to go from here. Upon the next song, Pandora announces to me: "Based on what you told us, we're playing this track because it has subtle use of vocal harmony, minor key tonality, electric rhythm guitars, prominent organs, and acoustic rhythm guitars." Umm ... wow. The lineup continued on with music in the same vein:

"Tomorrow Too Late" by Saves the Day - I actually had this album, didn't like it much, but I hear the similarities now.
"Like You Know" by Film School - Never heard of this band, good song though.
"Somethings Always Wrong" by Toad the Wet Sprocket - Holy Shit! I haven't heard this group in years.
"Summersong" by The Decemberists - I like that it returned to the Decemberists, and it allows me to tweak my selections by suggesting that I liked this song more than "The Shankhill Butchers"

It kept going on after that, and I realized that the entire affair was pretty hotsauce. Eventually the player stopped me and I had to register, and even after that it forced me to stop skipping songs, as licensing only allows so many skips per hour ... or something. This can be avoided by just creating a new station with a new artist or song.

Curious to see if Pandora embraced other musical genres well, I delved into Nathan's blerphtacular musical selection of choice. The metal lineup, starting with my selection of supreme metal masters Dimmu Borgir, went as follows:

"Over Bleknede Blaner Till Dommedag" by Dimmu Borgir - I just know that's doomsday.
"Wolfera the Chacal" by Rotting Christ
"Clones" by Enclave
"April" by Chapterhouse
"Allegiance" by Dimmu Borgir
"Year or the Plague" by Mercenary
"Dusted" by Sepultura

This is going to require some approval, but with the seclusion of a few songs, the lineup seemed pretty fucking metal. I wanted to lastly try something unique: Matisyahu. What would Pandora suggest in comparison to a hip-hop, reggae, Hassidic masterpiece?

"King Without a Crown (Original Version)" by Matisyahu - I've never actually heard the original. Neat-o!
"Time is Getting Harder" by Culture - Excellent reggae artist/song I've never heard.
"All I Do" by Junior Kelly - The reggae continues, and gets better.
"Feed my Girl" by The Slackers - Kind of sucked. Thumb-downed it and moved along.
"Jerusalem" by Matisyahu
"Border Patrol" by Eek-A-Mouse - More unique reggae. I'm loving this.
"God Nah Sleep" by Assassin - Where was all this music hiding? Unbelievable.

I experimented with even more bands and genres, and I'm more happy to have discovered Pandora than most things. The entire system is fantastic, and I could see it totally opening my eyes to some new artists that I wouldn't have discovered otherwise. I could see if Mr. Metal himself were a little disappointed, as his particular genre of choice probably gets a little jumbled together under the larger scope of Pandora. Regardless, I'm thrilled. I can imagine the side-effects this is going to have on my Amazon Wish List.

While announcing Dragon Quest IX solely for the DS is probably Squeenix's stab at propelling Japan into Ragnarok, it shouldn't be forgotten that across the shores, here in the land of cheeseburgers, Jesus, and fat people; the impact of DQ isn't nearly as economically threatening. We tend to go frothy over a different IP, and I think without realizing it, we're under the swing of that IP's mightiest push ever. Breaking it down:

GBA -

Final Fantasy VI
Final Fantasy Tactics Advance 2 - (While this is FFT ADVANCE, there is still a realistic possibility it could go to DS.)

The very recent announcement of Tactics Advance 2 is very awesome, and it will probably inspire me to return and play the entire way through the first one.

DS -

Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles
Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings



PSP -

Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core
Final Fantasy Tactics: The Lion War

It's really, really time for me to get a PSP with these announcements. The Lion War is supposedly a port of the original FFT, but with new jobs and new FMV sequences.

Wii -

Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles

PS3 -

Final Fantasy XIII
Final Fantasy XIII Versus

CELL -

Final Fantasy XIII Agito

That makes 10 Final Fantasy branded titles currently in development (I may have even missed some.), and a majority of them are titles I'm definitely going to be purchasing. It's a shame that Sony still has such a strong hold on the Final Fantasy series with 4 of the 10 titles, and my interest in the PS3 is still fairly minimal. I'd say somewhere right around my interest in receiving a butter cream enema. Yeah ... that low. Hopefully, with Dragon Quest's recent jumping of the ship, any unannounced Final Fantasy titles might be doing the same. I don't necessarily want to see Final Fantasy only on Nintendo products, but, well, that's what I have.

I've been feeling ABSOLUTELY restless lately, and for mostly that reason, things like Gaming, schoolwork, and this Blog, have fallen slightly out of my favor. I don't know, maybe it's the forced happiness of Jolly Ol' Saint Nick's season that weighs me down, maybe it's finals, ... or maybe I'm just feeling a touch bipolar.

Regardless, this Blog flailing about without updates is never something I want to see happen, because it happens with far too many blogs, and it's a real disservice to anyone reading. Anyone? ... Yeah, I thought so. Anyways, I apologize for the lack of anything interesting on here, and I hope to rectify that sometime soon. That sometime being some day, that isn't today.

The only tidbit of information I could think of conveying at this moment is that, For Hero: For Fool, by Subtle, is probably my shoe-in candidate for album of the year. Even if some of my favorite artists dropped their best albums this year, (which they didn't) Subtle would probably still handle the competition just based on sheer creativity and style.

The genre: Indie Electronic Hip-Hop with a dash of Rock, and a generous helping of the worlds most competent lyrics, beats, and speechcraft.

Note the full glory in the lyrics to Return of the Vein:

Things are in black and white

You are the sole member of tonight's studio audience, splayn before you is the made for t.v.
2-d back drop of some classic cooking show set. the dead man from one dollar,
only 30 years younger is stood contra posto before you.

Front and center on stilts, pressing the drawn fangs
of a tore in two fork
tenderly against the quivering lip of a plastic champagne flute.

Several beads of clean water
quickly slip from the pulled teeth tips
and tangle softly to a body
in its empty crystal pit.

Fingers in your mouth out of fear...
your shadow's somehow shot itself up on the wall behind him
throwing a peace sign up like the devil's horns,
above his ever so signature presidents head silhouette.

He catches your eye and calls you up to the stage.
while he opens a wee door in his overall armor.
He then shows you a change slot bore
where his appendix would be
and says softly, "see how" he too
had been bit by the audience once...

He takes to the floor from his stilts.
As you make for beside him on stage,
you bump exposed flesh by mistake.
the heat from his hurt has its way with the hairs on your neck,
till your glasses go black
and you lean back on a yell...

just then he wiggles a pec with the quickness,
and wishes your mouth flooded shut
full of steel wool, safety glass, and loosed teeth.

your shadow now cringed in tight behind you
is puddled up soaking the skin on your heels...

you're busy scraping your tongue down,
like a wildman with the jagged edge of your house key.

and angry dream George is once more top his stilts,
still swallowing your yell.
calling your attention yet again to the slot tore in his side
as he shouts something down about you
sucking out venom.

you motion to cover your eyes
while your shadow breaks free and lets dive,
through your back, sucking in its blacks
as you gag from the pit of your person
and pitch...

In short: Wii get.
In long: After waiting something like 14 hours at Walmart, I obtained myself a brand new, beatiful Nintendo Wii. The night ended in a mess of disgusting panic and terror, and I'd mostly rather not talk about it, so I'll save that knowledge for those that already know the tale.

Luckily, everything solved itself, I got my Wii, and I've been playing The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, well, since the hooking up. However, I did take some time off to explore the channels, at least those available to me, considering the Nintendo LAN Adapter won't be available until January '07. Naturally, I gravitated immediately toward the Mii Channel. Wow ... maybe a little less on the adverbs, eh?

Please ignore the shat quality, as I've yet to discover the proper way of photographing a television screen ... is there one? Here are the interesting results of my deviations from Hyrule:







If the pictures aren't clarifying enough:

1. Zen: Umm ... Mii, or me, or whatever ...
2. Jules: As in, Samuel L. Jackson's Pulp Fiction character Jules.
3. Jesus: An OK guy by me, but no savior. This is obviously the "Buddy Christ" version.
4. Rock Lee: The definition of hardcore.
5. Creep: The creepiest I could do using the Mii editor.

I've also got a very accurate portrayal of Scarlett Johansen, but that's for me ... and me alone. *DROOL*

My comics kick is still holding strong, and as such, I've taken it upon myself to follow-up my reading of Wolverine: Origin with Wolverine: End, detailing the latter moments of the Canuck's lengthy (200 years plus) journey, and ultimately with the entire Civil War storyline.

Civil War is basically one of the events responsible for sparking my renewed interest in comics, and while I might be late to the party, I think I'm making up for lost time with the swiftness. The event is amazing, and it's still current, so while I hardly know the ramifications that are going to effect the entire Marvel Universe, I do know that the arc of the regular Wolverine storyline occuring throughout Civil War, is fantastic. Plain and simple.

The single, most contributing factor to this excellence is the art of Humberto Ramos. His characters are so stylized, that I'm basically mesmerized by how awesome they look. I haven't been this much of a fan of Wolverine's style since the feral days of bone claw lore. That being somewhere right around Onslaught-era, was easily one of my favorite moments in Marvel History.

I couldn't exactly mention how outrageously awesome this all was without some proof. So, without further ado:







Some things of note:

The end of Wolverine was not nearly as worthwhile as Origin, and I'm not even particularly sure if it's canonical.

Within the Wolverine issues contained in the Civil War side-story, the extent of his healing factor is made painfully clear:
- An explosion by Nitro reduces him to literally nothing more than a skeleton.
- He leaps from a plane with no parachute.
- His head is practically cut off by a buzzsaw leaving nothing more than a strand of flesh.

Obviously, he recovers from all of this. So hard.

There is something like a two issue span where after being reduced to a pile of bones by Nitro, Wolverine resurrects and continues the fight entirely naked. He doesn't seem to mind.

Wolverine: Origin details the birth of what may be the toughest, most hard-to the-core comic character ever. Unraveling the mystery of Wolverine is one of the biggest events in the Marvel universe in my mind, and it probably only compares to the unmasking of Spiderman, which surprisingly also happened somewhat recently in Marvel's Civil War Storyline. I'm going to have to read that ... very, very soon.

Regardless, Origin is a glorious tribute to the birth of a bad-ass, and it's filled to the brim with drama, subtle references to Wolverine's future, and some really beautiful artwork. I mean, I've always loved comic art, but these guys are just getting so good that I can't imagine how they churn out these books on a monthly basis.

Some worthwhile things to note from the Origins experience:
The birth of Wolverine's redhead fetish. Why does he love Jean? Origin.
How did Wolverine learn of Japan, and the ensuing samurai awesomeness? Origin.
Wolverine vs. Sabretooth? Origin, or at least an allusion to it.
How old is this guy anyways? Origin.

Now that I've read this book, I've promised myself I'm going to go ahead and dig up the Frank Miller Wolverine book, because I hear it's supposed to be damned amazing. Well, we'll see how long this "comic kick" maintains, as games are sure to bleed back in soon enough. I can't hold them off for much longer. A gift for the leaving:

Instead of actually doing anything I should absolutely be working on right now, I'm spending my time doing basically nothing of any real value or worth. I can't even be bothered enough to make a worthwhile Blog post, so instead I'll just post this picture depicting one of the various outlets my time is being wasted upon.



I'm not even spending my time with Gears of War (my mistress), or Final Fantasy XII (my wife). I should probably try to get in as much of both as I can before, you know, THAT DAY. The day my mistress and wife are quickly replaced with my unwavering crack cocaine addiction (Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess).

Yes, I sum my life's passions with video game launches. I'm sorry.

I don't know if this will read well, at the moment I'm feeling slightly violated.

Violated, because Nintendo just saw fit to rape my ass hard. It's not even like they particularly sought out my ass because it was supple and pleasant, but they just decided to simultaneously lay waste to the asses of millions of their fans. It shouldn't hurt so much, mostly because I hear they're not that "big" over there, but trust me, the pain lingers.

Nintendo's raping tool of choice? The Virtual Console. Easily one of the most pleasing aspects of the entire Wii phenomenon, the VC carried the hefty promise of fulfilling on delivering backwards compatibility with Nintendo's mighty lineage. It's a feature of the Wii that has been touted basically since the announcement of the console, and yet, Nintendo seems destined to fuck things up. Completely. I'll break down their incompetence:

1. The Pricing Scheme - I'm not exactly comfortable with paying $5 for NES games, $8 for SNES games, and $10 for N64 games, but I would have taken the hit, if only to experience some of the great games one more time. Unfortunately, prices that high would have quickly alienated me from a large chunk of games that I had never experienced before, but even that isn't the worst bit of it.

US NES: $5.00
US SNES: $8.00
US N64: $10.00

Japan NES: 500 yen or $4.27
Japan SNES: 800 yen or $6.84
Japan N64: 1000 yen or $ 8.55

Now, it might seem base to be that upset over $1.50 at the most, but 10 games and that becomes $15.00. It chalks the entire experience up as feeling like I'm getting the short end of the stick no matter what, while our Japanese counterparts, even though the price is still too high everywhere, are relaxing much more comfortably.

2. The Genesis - Titles being released for the Genesis are being offered for 600 yen, or $5.13 in Japan, while in America they're going to cost $8.00. That's the most significant price fucking of the entire scheme, and it hurts that much more, because the majority of worthwhile titles in the launch batch are from the Sega camp.

3. The Launch Selection - This is where it all exploded into a nasty mess of ethnocentrism for me. In what world, Jesus or Buddha above, can Japan receive a lineup like the one they're receiving, and our list of releases be limited to 31 until the end of December. I won't post the list, Chris Kohler already did that work for me, but ... ... I can't even seem to find the words that cover how shitty this makes me feel. It's like I'm being punished for being an American. "Hey, Nintendo, I've got a secret. I don't even like these guys that much. I'll help you take over the damn country if you give me Super Metroid at launch."


Play this in America? Not FUCKING likely.

4. The Promise - Here's the real kicker. I've seen some comments about how Nintendo is spacing out the big titles from their history, but that's just, the most outrageous thing ever. Nintendo promised a console that was backwards compatible with their entire lineage of games, but the Wii isn't that console, and it basically never will be. The Wii is backwards compatible with a select few games from Nintendo's previous systems, and it goes something like this:

The average lifespan of a video game console: 5 years
Nintendo's commitment to release VC titles: 10 per month

10 VC Titles x 12 Months = 120 x 5 years = 600 Virtual Console games

600 seems like a pretty stellar amount of games, and while most would be hard pressed to come up with 600 games that they'd like to see on the VC, it doesn't look so impressive when you compare it to the potential (estimated) total:

NES - 1000?
Super NES - 800?
Nintendo 64 - 400?
Sega Master System - 500?
Turbografx-16 - 200?
MSX Home Computer - 200?

3100 Games

So, while I'm horribly estimating those numbers there, the total amount of games that Nintendo has to select from is dwarfing not only what they're releasing now, but what they actually plan to release throughout the lifeline of the entire console. So, NO, I don't want to see them holding back on the "big guns." There are enough great games that I can think of, that I want to see some of them now. I shouldn't have to feel like I'm waiting for a game to drop, when it actually dropped 15 years ago. That's just outrageous, and I'm not necessarily even claiming Zelda, Mario, and Sonic, but more like Earthbound, Clay Fighter, Mischief Makers, Blast Corps, fucking anything from Square, and about 50 other more creative titles I can pull from thin air. Come on N, stop treading water in the shallow, and prove to us that you actually have the guts to reach out to the more obscure titles from the past.

5. The Innovation - Consider this more of a personal gripe than an actual issue I have, but goddamn it Nintendo, stop preaching innovation if you're not going to deliver it all around. The virtual console has the potential to carry so much weight, and deliver so many great things, so stop squashing all the possibility. Online multiplayer for classic games would have set the bar, region free could have toppled the industry, and (this is just my personal desire manifesting) there is no reason the VC couldn't have finally been the place to release the Mother titles to America. No reason at all.


Ness says, "Hey N, get the fuck on the ball eh?"

I hope this isn't reading like a giant rant, but I wanted to first note that I feel entirely raped by Nintendo's proverbial manrod, but I also wanted to highlight some of the facts, and the breakdown of the finances surrounding the VC, because essentially, we should all be feeling it. Hopefully, and while I'm grasping at straws here, someone at Nintendo would read this, and either A. Get the gears in motion as to fixing some of these issues or B. Hire me as the VC manager, and let me handle it.

I'd do you guys right, this I promise.

Lately, I've been having trouble with what I do. Generally, I sit down at the PC, grab a soda, and scour the netspace for news, just about every time I come home. That hasn't been going so well these last couple weeks, because I've decided to avoid certain news.

Rarely did I previously find it necessary to not read anything for fear of the mighty spoiler, but beginning with Okami, I found myself selectively avoiding specific information. The game just seemed so damn grand, that I didn't want to steal anything from that. I can say the same for Final Fantasy XII, although that one has been a little easier, because the story isn't really being divulged in any of the reviews.


I only know that bombs go BOOM.

It all culminates with The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, for which it seems I've been avoiding spoilers like the plague. I know what it seems everyone knows, from all the screenshots at the various trade shows, but this Friday the videos and impressions are going to drop from the 48 hour playtest that the majority of large news outlets are participating in. Matt Cassamasina, Jeremy Parish, and Rawmeat Cowboy from GoNintendo should all be writing up their impressions from this playtest, and those are three dudes who's opinions I regularly find myself indulging in. To not view any of these, is going to be what they'd call, "a test of my mettle." Although, I'm sure when they coined the term they meant it for much more laborious situations.

Regardless, I imagine I'll have to admit that I've become the 'Spoiler Granny' that I always feared. The real kicker is that it's working, and it's reminding how much I liked playing games when I was just a kid, with nothing else to do but play Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest for something like two solid days. It didn't so much matter to me that the game was terrible, I just had it to play, so I played it basically infinitely. That's a pretty amazing feeling, and all the news and impressions, reviews and previews, and other such hub-snubbery has, I think, stolen some of that away from me.


I played it to finish. TO. THE. TERRIBLE. FINISH.

Avoiding news made Okami not just an excellent game for me, but an experience. I conquered Nippon in 36 hours of playtime, all of which was achieved in less than two weeks. Maybe one week, but I can't seem to remember, it's all clouded with a slight haze of weepy glory. In the end, I wonder if I'll be able to maintain my newfound status of spoiler aversion, or will I bow to the gods of game previews.

EDIT: Funny now that I notice it, I called the one character in Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest 'TRISTRAM' for years. I always thought it sounded stupid. Now I know the source of said stupidity ...

I need help. If I keep going, I'll have cataloged the entire fucking Internet. Someone, please, make me stop ...







The madness must end.

I imagine it looked a little like this, you know, minus the dwarves, elves, and siberian tiger mounts.



Not that any of these guys could afford it. I'm sure they sold their souls to Blizzard long ago.

Sometime in the future I'll prepare a post with actual content. Well ... I might.