100 Word Reviews - Volume One

The amount of entertainment and media that I wallow through is sometimes a little intimidating. It's even more intimidating to think that I often would like to write something about each movie I watch, book or comic I read, or game I play. I think to do so would be noble and just, and bring the Zenspace to the forefront of coverage for such a small blog, but in terms of the actual amount of time I have, it's just damned impossible. So instead, I think I'll start tearing out a series of posts called 100 Word Reviews. In 100 words or less, I'll give the best impressions of something I possibly can, and I'll even try to keep the prose interesting and more creative than regular review-type fair. We'll see how that goes anyways, my creative writing is, at best, average. Why talk forever about something that's meant to be done in 100 words then? Let's just get started:

Movie: The 36th Chamber of Shaolin (AKA Shaolin Master Killer)
Year: 1978, DVD: 2007
Genre: Kung-Fu, Chop Socky, The Best Things Ever Created
Available: Amazon

Imagine a version of Rocky that stopped at the end of the training montage, and then started again at the beginning, this loop repeating forever. Infinitely pumping that energetic Frank Stallone montage jam until your cock was erect and you were tearing out one-hand push-ups with fluid ease and primal motivation. The 36th Chamber of Shaolin is the never-ending training montage, only sans the motivational theme song. Doubly important is the truthful realization of every American boy’s wet dream; a man enters a Shaolin temple with the goal of telling Buddhism to fuck off; he only wants to kick ass.

Music: Icky Thump by The White Stripes
Year: 2007
Genre: Rock, Whatever, Awkward Brother/Sister/Ex-Wife Relations
Available: Amazon

With undeniable surprise, The White Stripes offer classic rock a rebirth. Everything old is new again in Jack and Meg’s, but let’s be honest here, mostly Jack’s, auditory jumble-fuck of guitar squealing mayhem. Homage is an apt term for Icky Thump, but to whom or what is a mystery. It all sounds so familiar, but the presence of Jack White’s catalog of instruments makes for a unique listen. I don’t know what these sounds are coming from, but I’d wager things like harpsichords, glockenspiels, and electric kazoos aren’t far off. Who really cares? It rocks like something we’d long forgotten.

Manga: Brave Story Volume 1
Year: 2007
Genre: Action/Fantasy, Blatantly Average
Available: Amazon

A boy who’s terrible at everything but videogames finds himself chosen as a Traveler, those who navigate between two worlds. It’s as if they didn’t know this would play to the heartstrings of thousands of lonely bastards locked in their bedrooms without the benefit of depression solving sexual relations. Notably, the subsequent release of an actual game and an anime feature makes for a marketing triumvirate of Brave Story, just enough to be physically smothered in a story that’s not too appealing and characters that aren’t too deep. Minus, of course, that one kid who’s father killed his entire family.

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