Cody Musser vs Internet: Take Two!

In short: Wii get.
In long: After waiting something like 14 hours at Walmart, I obtained myself a brand new, beatiful Nintendo Wii. The night ended in a mess of disgusting panic and terror, and I'd mostly rather not talk about it, so I'll save that knowledge for those that already know the tale.

Luckily, everything solved itself, I got my Wii, and I've been playing The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, well, since the hooking up. However, I did take some time off to explore the channels, at least those available to me, considering the Nintendo LAN Adapter won't be available until January '07. Naturally, I gravitated immediately toward the Mii Channel. Wow ... maybe a little less on the adverbs, eh?

Please ignore the shat quality, as I've yet to discover the proper way of photographing a television screen ... is there one? Here are the interesting results of my deviations from Hyrule:







If the pictures aren't clarifying enough:

1. Zen: Umm ... Mii, or me, or whatever ...
2. Jules: As in, Samuel L. Jackson's Pulp Fiction character Jules.
3. Jesus: An OK guy by me, but no savior. This is obviously the "Buddy Christ" version.
4. Rock Lee: The definition of hardcore.
5. Creep: The creepiest I could do using the Mii editor.

I've also got a very accurate portrayal of Scarlett Johansen, but that's for me ... and me alone. *DROOL*

My comics kick is still holding strong, and as such, I've taken it upon myself to follow-up my reading of Wolverine: Origin with Wolverine: End, detailing the latter moments of the Canuck's lengthy (200 years plus) journey, and ultimately with the entire Civil War storyline.

Civil War is basically one of the events responsible for sparking my renewed interest in comics, and while I might be late to the party, I think I'm making up for lost time with the swiftness. The event is amazing, and it's still current, so while I hardly know the ramifications that are going to effect the entire Marvel Universe, I do know that the arc of the regular Wolverine storyline occuring throughout Civil War, is fantastic. Plain and simple.

The single, most contributing factor to this excellence is the art of Humberto Ramos. His characters are so stylized, that I'm basically mesmerized by how awesome they look. I haven't been this much of a fan of Wolverine's style since the feral days of bone claw lore. That being somewhere right around Onslaught-era, was easily one of my favorite moments in Marvel History.

I couldn't exactly mention how outrageously awesome this all was without some proof. So, without further ado:







Some things of note:

The end of Wolverine was not nearly as worthwhile as Origin, and I'm not even particularly sure if it's canonical.

Within the Wolverine issues contained in the Civil War side-story, the extent of his healing factor is made painfully clear:
- An explosion by Nitro reduces him to literally nothing more than a skeleton.
- He leaps from a plane with no parachute.
- His head is practically cut off by a buzzsaw leaving nothing more than a strand of flesh.

Obviously, he recovers from all of this. So hard.

There is something like a two issue span where after being reduced to a pile of bones by Nitro, Wolverine resurrects and continues the fight entirely naked. He doesn't seem to mind.

Wolverine: Origin details the birth of what may be the toughest, most hard-to the-core comic character ever. Unraveling the mystery of Wolverine is one of the biggest events in the Marvel universe in my mind, and it probably only compares to the unmasking of Spiderman, which surprisingly also happened somewhat recently in Marvel's Civil War Storyline. I'm going to have to read that ... very, very soon.

Regardless, Origin is a glorious tribute to the birth of a bad-ass, and it's filled to the brim with drama, subtle references to Wolverine's future, and some really beautiful artwork. I mean, I've always loved comic art, but these guys are just getting so good that I can't imagine how they churn out these books on a monthly basis.

Some worthwhile things to note from the Origins experience:
The birth of Wolverine's redhead fetish. Why does he love Jean? Origin.
How did Wolverine learn of Japan, and the ensuing samurai awesomeness? Origin.
Wolverine vs. Sabretooth? Origin, or at least an allusion to it.
How old is this guy anyways? Origin.

Now that I've read this book, I've promised myself I'm going to go ahead and dig up the Frank Miller Wolverine book, because I hear it's supposed to be damned amazing. Well, we'll see how long this "comic kick" maintains, as games are sure to bleed back in soon enough. I can't hold them off for much longer. A gift for the leaving:

Instead of actually doing anything I should absolutely be working on right now, I'm spending my time doing basically nothing of any real value or worth. I can't even be bothered enough to make a worthwhile Blog post, so instead I'll just post this picture depicting one of the various outlets my time is being wasted upon.



I'm not even spending my time with Gears of War (my mistress), or Final Fantasy XII (my wife). I should probably try to get in as much of both as I can before, you know, THAT DAY. The day my mistress and wife are quickly replaced with my unwavering crack cocaine addiction (Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess).

Yes, I sum my life's passions with video game launches. I'm sorry.

I don't know if this will read well, at the moment I'm feeling slightly violated.

Violated, because Nintendo just saw fit to rape my ass hard. It's not even like they particularly sought out my ass because it was supple and pleasant, but they just decided to simultaneously lay waste to the asses of millions of their fans. It shouldn't hurt so much, mostly because I hear they're not that "big" over there, but trust me, the pain lingers.

Nintendo's raping tool of choice? The Virtual Console. Easily one of the most pleasing aspects of the entire Wii phenomenon, the VC carried the hefty promise of fulfilling on delivering backwards compatibility with Nintendo's mighty lineage. It's a feature of the Wii that has been touted basically since the announcement of the console, and yet, Nintendo seems destined to fuck things up. Completely. I'll break down their incompetence:

1. The Pricing Scheme - I'm not exactly comfortable with paying $5 for NES games, $8 for SNES games, and $10 for N64 games, but I would have taken the hit, if only to experience some of the great games one more time. Unfortunately, prices that high would have quickly alienated me from a large chunk of games that I had never experienced before, but even that isn't the worst bit of it.

US NES: $5.00
US SNES: $8.00
US N64: $10.00

Japan NES: 500 yen or $4.27
Japan SNES: 800 yen or $6.84
Japan N64: 1000 yen or $ 8.55

Now, it might seem base to be that upset over $1.50 at the most, but 10 games and that becomes $15.00. It chalks the entire experience up as feeling like I'm getting the short end of the stick no matter what, while our Japanese counterparts, even though the price is still too high everywhere, are relaxing much more comfortably.

2. The Genesis - Titles being released for the Genesis are being offered for 600 yen, or $5.13 in Japan, while in America they're going to cost $8.00. That's the most significant price fucking of the entire scheme, and it hurts that much more, because the majority of worthwhile titles in the launch batch are from the Sega camp.

3. The Launch Selection - This is where it all exploded into a nasty mess of ethnocentrism for me. In what world, Jesus or Buddha above, can Japan receive a lineup like the one they're receiving, and our list of releases be limited to 31 until the end of December. I won't post the list, Chris Kohler already did that work for me, but ... ... I can't even seem to find the words that cover how shitty this makes me feel. It's like I'm being punished for being an American. "Hey, Nintendo, I've got a secret. I don't even like these guys that much. I'll help you take over the damn country if you give me Super Metroid at launch."


Play this in America? Not FUCKING likely.

4. The Promise - Here's the real kicker. I've seen some comments about how Nintendo is spacing out the big titles from their history, but that's just, the most outrageous thing ever. Nintendo promised a console that was backwards compatible with their entire lineage of games, but the Wii isn't that console, and it basically never will be. The Wii is backwards compatible with a select few games from Nintendo's previous systems, and it goes something like this:

The average lifespan of a video game console: 5 years
Nintendo's commitment to release VC titles: 10 per month

10 VC Titles x 12 Months = 120 x 5 years = 600 Virtual Console games

600 seems like a pretty stellar amount of games, and while most would be hard pressed to come up with 600 games that they'd like to see on the VC, it doesn't look so impressive when you compare it to the potential (estimated) total:

NES - 1000?
Super NES - 800?
Nintendo 64 - 400?
Sega Master System - 500?
Turbografx-16 - 200?
MSX Home Computer - 200?

3100 Games

So, while I'm horribly estimating those numbers there, the total amount of games that Nintendo has to select from is dwarfing not only what they're releasing now, but what they actually plan to release throughout the lifeline of the entire console. So, NO, I don't want to see them holding back on the "big guns." There are enough great games that I can think of, that I want to see some of them now. I shouldn't have to feel like I'm waiting for a game to drop, when it actually dropped 15 years ago. That's just outrageous, and I'm not necessarily even claiming Zelda, Mario, and Sonic, but more like Earthbound, Clay Fighter, Mischief Makers, Blast Corps, fucking anything from Square, and about 50 other more creative titles I can pull from thin air. Come on N, stop treading water in the shallow, and prove to us that you actually have the guts to reach out to the more obscure titles from the past.

5. The Innovation - Consider this more of a personal gripe than an actual issue I have, but goddamn it Nintendo, stop preaching innovation if you're not going to deliver it all around. The virtual console has the potential to carry so much weight, and deliver so many great things, so stop squashing all the possibility. Online multiplayer for classic games would have set the bar, region free could have toppled the industry, and (this is just my personal desire manifesting) there is no reason the VC couldn't have finally been the place to release the Mother titles to America. No reason at all.


Ness says, "Hey N, get the fuck on the ball eh?"

I hope this isn't reading like a giant rant, but I wanted to first note that I feel entirely raped by Nintendo's proverbial manrod, but I also wanted to highlight some of the facts, and the breakdown of the finances surrounding the VC, because essentially, we should all be feeling it. Hopefully, and while I'm grasping at straws here, someone at Nintendo would read this, and either A. Get the gears in motion as to fixing some of these issues or B. Hire me as the VC manager, and let me handle it.

I'd do you guys right, this I promise.

Lately, I've been having trouble with what I do. Generally, I sit down at the PC, grab a soda, and scour the netspace for news, just about every time I come home. That hasn't been going so well these last couple weeks, because I've decided to avoid certain news.

Rarely did I previously find it necessary to not read anything for fear of the mighty spoiler, but beginning with Okami, I found myself selectively avoiding specific information. The game just seemed so damn grand, that I didn't want to steal anything from that. I can say the same for Final Fantasy XII, although that one has been a little easier, because the story isn't really being divulged in any of the reviews.


I only know that bombs go BOOM.

It all culminates with The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, for which it seems I've been avoiding spoilers like the plague. I know what it seems everyone knows, from all the screenshots at the various trade shows, but this Friday the videos and impressions are going to drop from the 48 hour playtest that the majority of large news outlets are participating in. Matt Cassamasina, Jeremy Parish, and Rawmeat Cowboy from GoNintendo should all be writing up their impressions from this playtest, and those are three dudes who's opinions I regularly find myself indulging in. To not view any of these, is going to be what they'd call, "a test of my mettle." Although, I'm sure when they coined the term they meant it for much more laborious situations.

Regardless, I imagine I'll have to admit that I've become the 'Spoiler Granny' that I always feared. The real kicker is that it's working, and it's reminding how much I liked playing games when I was just a kid, with nothing else to do but play Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest for something like two solid days. It didn't so much matter to me that the game was terrible, I just had it to play, so I played it basically infinitely. That's a pretty amazing feeling, and all the news and impressions, reviews and previews, and other such hub-snubbery has, I think, stolen some of that away from me.


I played it to finish. TO. THE. TERRIBLE. FINISH.

Avoiding news made Okami not just an excellent game for me, but an experience. I conquered Nippon in 36 hours of playtime, all of which was achieved in less than two weeks. Maybe one week, but I can't seem to remember, it's all clouded with a slight haze of weepy glory. In the end, I wonder if I'll be able to maintain my newfound status of spoiler aversion, or will I bow to the gods of game previews.

EDIT: Funny now that I notice it, I called the one character in Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest 'TRISTRAM' for years. I always thought it sounded stupid. Now I know the source of said stupidity ...

I need help. If I keep going, I'll have cataloged the entire fucking Internet. Someone, please, make me stop ...







The madness must end.

I imagine it looked a little like this, you know, minus the dwarves, elves, and siberian tiger mounts.



Not that any of these guys could afford it. I'm sure they sold their souls to Blizzard long ago.

Sometime in the future I'll prepare a post with actual content. Well ... I might.

The song goes: "I did a bad, bad thing."


Matching outfits aren't necessary when you carry a meat cleaver in each hand.

More explanation is necessary, but I'll save it for a more fitting time. Consider this the relapse of an old addiction, and the prequel of a life wasted. Hopefully, this newer, more expanded drug won't be something I'm forced to start hiding the track marks for.

I ask in sincerity. I'm only curious, because I know at the beginning of this post, that I have none. My review of the Phantasy Star Universe Beta has been cancelled, well, actually I could say it was finished, and goes something like this:

Phantasy Star Universe is an MMO on the Xbox 360. It has a shite layout, and as an MMO, it isn't World of Warcraft, so to pay a monthly fee is like paying for a monthly delivery of ground beef, while your neighbors are receiving prime choice sirloin. (Sorry to use meat as the analogy there, but it worked ... sort of.) Understood?

My final impressions of Disgaea 2 and Lumines Live! are both still brewing. I could be at the finish of Disgaea 2, but there's no real way to tell. Considering I'm somewhere around 33 hours of playtime, I wouldn't be suprised if the game was, in fact, lying when it states I'm at the "Final Chapter." Lumines Live! is, in short, kicking my ass all over the place. I'll post some impressions after I'm better at the game, which hopefully is soon. Losing to puzzle games is disheartening.


Thanks Lumines, for ass-raping me so gently.

Also, I've taken the time to upload some of my compositions from my English 101 course to this blog. I like having everything chronicled in one place, so check them out if you must, but in truth, they're not that good. If anything, I'm particularly proud of the titles. I can craft some titles that steal the glances of many an onlooker. Now if only I could get them to be not quite so disappointed when the essay doesn't deliver. Read on if you dare:

The Game of Life
The Keyboard Zombies
A Frag Above The Rest
Star Wars 23: Indiana Jones vs. Superman

Before you mention the inconsistencies within the essays, note the disclaimer at the top of the page containing them.

Hmm, what else should be said? I demand everyone watches the new Stranglehold video at IGN. There are seven minutes of Chow Yun-Fat gameplay glory, all with commentary. This game just notched up about 10 marks on my must-buy list, thanks in particular to two things: 1. Doves included. 2. So Max Payne-y.


Chow Yun-Fat: "I come hard. So. Fucking. Hard."

Lastly, my interview with Orbital Media should be answered this week, and that is a feeling I can't seem to stop geeking over. My first interview with a developer, shit, I'm all journo-like. I'll post when it all comes through. They're also sending me Scurge:Hive and Juka and the Monophonic Menace to review, and that is a nice enough bounty.

While there was absolutely no cohesion to any of this, and definitely no point, I've presently written everything I can think of. So, Stan Lee knew best how to close 'em:

'Nuff said.

Just a note:

That should finally be it for layout changes, at least for a while. I'm happy with the just barely off-white background color, and the hotsauce images in my header and sidebar I stole politely from two separate wallpapers for Contact. I wish the header displayed as it should in IE, but well, IE is for hookers anyways. To further demonstrate that I don't much care, notice the mention under my Firefox banner in the sidebar. It says what it says, but it means something different. It means:

"This blog doesn't look right in anything but Firefox, because if you're using anything but Firefox ... you don't matter."

That's about everything I have to say. I thought about some final impressions on the Phantasy Star Universe Beta, or maybe one of the other posts I've been milling around for awhile now, but alas it is as I said. Quick and dirty.

There are a few reasons I'm more excited about owning an Xbox 360 than the Wii I'll be purchasing in a little more than a month. Sure, I'm not saying that I don't want a Wii, Zelda is going to have its hooks dug into me so deep that I might barely come out alive, but overall, the 360 has a lineup that is going to yield a full years worth of games that all scream next-gen. Obviously this begins with Gears of War in November, and while I'd like to say it ends with Halo 3, the truth is that it won't end. Games for next fall haven't even been announced, but somewhere in between we'll be looking at Mass Effect, Bioshock, Stranglehold, Too Human, Halo Wars, Lost Planet, etc. I can't remember any console that ever had such a strong lineup ... ever-like.

While the full-fledged releases are the steam behind the 360's engine barreling through the future, I'd like to think that Live Arcade is the coal. The XBLA is going to be delivering its own lineup of titles that, in my mind, are just as worthy of excitement as the console releases. I'll be the first to say that I don't get too thrilled about games like Pacman, Galaga, Frogger, and the more recent Dig Dug, on XBLA. I know they're novel and quick releases, but something just pisses me off about paying $5 for games from the early 80's. Shit, aren't these games in public domain? Sorry, but I refuse to spend $5 happily, on a game that was created when Nolan Bushnell was still the industries most famous figure. Luckily, there are a slew of titles coming to the Live Arcade that are slightly newer than the time of the dinosaurs. Some of the offerings that I'm looking forward to:

The Old School
While I'm a firm hater of the price on games as old as my grandmother (Atari), games from my generation (NES & Beyond) are really loading up the Live Arcade.

Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3



It's Mortal Kombat. So that means it isn't going to have the worthwhile gameplay that Street Fighter did, but it's going to have lots of blood and lots of fun. My only worry is that there hasn't been any reveal of online modes for UMK3 yet, and if there isn't Xbox Live play, you can chalk this one up as worthless.

Contra & Super Contra



I might be wrong, but I'm almost sure they announced Contra and Super Contra both, which is awesome. These are the games I grew up on, and Xbox Live co-op play for Contra is like a dream. There are even updated visuals, but I can't guarantee they'll be mind-blowing stuff. Not like it matters.

Rush N' Attack



Not that I didn't play Contra, but when dudes were geeking out about it, I was trying to get them to play Rush N' Attack. Their loss was my gain, because this game rocks. I know this, because I remember how much I loved it, and I don't think I ever made it past the second level. If a game kicks your ass that much, and you still enjoy it, that = good game.

Symphony of the Night



I'd pay more for this release than any other XBLA title. Umm ... 'Nuff said.

Fatal Fury Special



So this probably isn't going to be as good as Street Fighter 2, but that doesn't mean it's bad. The more 2D fighters the better; I can't imagine any reason this won't be enjoyable. At least for a while.


The New School
While classics remade for XBLA claim many of the releases out there, new games are the real bread and butter here. Releases like Marble Blast Ultra and Geometry Wars tore up sales because of this, and some of these upcoming guys have the opportunity to do the same.

Assault Heroes



Assault Heroes is more of the kind of game I'd like to see on the XBLA. It has the next-gen visuals, but at the same time embraces the "old school" arcade gameplay of games like Geometry Wars. It's a great fit, and I can't wait to explore it.

Lumines Live



I never got to play Lumines on the PSP, so I've been dieing to explore the game. Live Arcade delivers the opportunity, but the rumors of a shite pricing scheme are dessuading. We'll have to wait and see.

Alien Hominid



Alien Hominid was on my list of "To Buy" games from this generation for a long time, but it never made it into my hands. Thanks to XBLA it never will, but I'll still be playing it. The Behemoth makes their games with such a cartoony flair; I love it. They're also responsible for Castle Crashers below.

Space Giraffe



I don't really know how to define Space Giraffe apart from: WOW. I don't understand how it plays, what the scoring system is, and damn near anything else. I only know this video intrigues me, and the game was developed by the dude behind the crazy acid-trip visuals for the Xbox music player. For me, that's enough.

Castle Crashers



Castle Crashers is the second game that I think a picture just doesn't suffice. Watch the video, praise the beauty, then bow down and wait to buy the game. Next to SotN, Castle Crashers is way up there in terms of my level of anticipation.

Small Arms



Some simple equations here:
Smash Brothers - Cool Franchise Characters + XBLA + HD Visuals x Xbox Live gameplay = Absolutely cool, even though it's lacking the Link and Samus bit. Last minute video addition as well. Watch and enjoy!

Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness

I think this hasn't actually been confirmed for XBLA, but I'm holding out, and I would imagine there is a pretty good chance it will show up there. Sam & Max probably will as well. Hats off to episodic gaming on XBLA.

I'm sure I've forgotten some, but I think that conveys just how hotsauce the Live Arcade really is. There is real potential here, because unlike the virtual console, Live Arcade is merging new games and classics, and they're bringing cooperative gameplay to both. How excellent is that!